Squatting Toad Peeps Out

A denial-of-service cyberattack against the Crimean referendum of March 16, 2014 originated from Champaign, Illinois, according to reports.

Champaign is also called Urbana, and/or Chambana, and/or “Champion-Banana.” It is a small cosmopolitan city from which Ersjdamoo blogs. But this may change: anti-tobacco nazis are on the march here and will not leave an old man in peace.

The local newspaper, which squats like a toad upon the town, reports as of March 18, 2014 that Voice of Russia has reported, “Our IT safety experts managed to find out where those attacks came from. It is University of Illinois at Urbana Champaign. The most powerful scanning of servers before the attack was carried out exactly from there.” Double-checking the claim of the Champaign-Urbana News-Gazette it has been found that Voice of Russia has indeed made the quoted claim. [1] [2]

The Squatting Toad (i.e., Champaign-Urbana News-Gazette) also reports that a National Security Agency headquarters may currently be located here. [1]

Also on March 16th, the same day as the Crimean referendum, Reuters reports that “hackers” attacked several NATO web sites. The cyberattack was said to have been carried out by “patriotic Ukrainians” angry over what they saw as NATO interference in their country. [3]

While these cyber-tensions are in the air, Ersjdamoo has noticed the return to Champion-Banana of the hideous haughty geese. You may recall from the Ersjdamoo’s Blog entry of June 10, 2013 how bold brazen arrogant Canadian geese have taken to defying traffic patterns here. These notoriously ill-tempered creatures have also terrified pedestrians such as myself, who will cross the street to avoid crossing paths with the mean-dispositioned varmints. (Background: British-Canadian Geese Plot, Ersjdamoo’s Blog entry of June 10, 2013.)

Of course here it goes without saying that no pedestrian dare smoke a cigarette in the vicinity of the haughty geese. “Dangers of second-hand smoke!” the anti-tobacco nazis would yell, for they strangely love and defend the vicious creatures.

Is it any wonder that people are fleeing Illinois, given the increasing repression here?

Not known at this point is what the local Squatting Toad newspaper thinks about the growing crisis of Ukraine and Crimea. The editors at Squatting Toad generally wait until the coast is clear before they peep out with “bold editorials” such as “Exercise in Moderation” and “Can We Fix the Potholes Please?”

But Ersjdamoo is unafraid to speak his mind, even though threatened by evil geese, anti-tobacco nazis, and now an alleged National Security Agency headquarters here. The dueling cyber-attacks over Crimea are an escalation in hostilities between the United States and our friends, the Russians. The background to this latest saber rattling is the premiere of the Affordable Care Act, also called “Obamacare.” As the due date for implementation of Obamacare loomed last August, a distraction against reality almost occurred when missile strikes against Syria loomed. The Ukraine-Crimea tensions are also a distraction against reality. The reality is economic malaise throughout the world. To distract from this, they turn to war, as they always do.

——- Sources ——-
[1] “Russian paper accuses UI in cyberattack”, by Christine Des Garennes. Champaign-Urbana News-Gazette, March 18, 2014
[2] “US hackers target Crimean referendum website”, Voice of Russia, March 16, 2014. http://voiceofrussia.com/news/2014_03_16/US-hackers-target-Crimean-referendum-website-2229/
[3] “NATO websites hit in cyber attack linked to Crimea tension”, by Adrian Croft and Peter Apps. Reuters, March 16, 2014.

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About ersjdamoo

Editor of Conspiracy Nation, later renamed Melchizedek Communique. Close associate of the late Sherman H. Skolnick. Jack of all trades, master of none. Sagittarius, with Sagittarius rising. I'm not a bum, I'm a philosopher.
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