Big Fuss Over Loose Cows

Granny

The year was 1964. In Beverly Hills, a mountaineer woman clung to her old ways. Granny (image above) was tired of wrong forecasts from meteorologists. Granny relied instead on her “weather beetle”, Cecil, to more accurately predict the weather. The U.S. Weather Bureau tried to reason with Granny, but she was stubborn. Amazingly, in the end, Granny’s “weather beetle” system was proven superior to the U.S. Weather Bureau!

We know that Granny, a stubborn mountaineer woman who moved to Beverly Hills, had had bizarre encounters with various “critters.” For instance, a “giant jackrabbit” turned out to be an escaped kangaroo. Nonetheless, the accuracy of Granny’s old-time ways had sometimes startled scientists. Years later, May 16, 2008, a “Loose Cows Alert” was issued.

On May 15, 2008 six cows “went missing” from a Hagerstown, Maryland livestock auction. One of the cows was cornered by police in an alley, then shot dead. [1]

Then, later that day, ten cows escaped from a trailer near the interchange of Highway 4 and Interstate 680, near Concord, California. [2]

However mystery was added to the Concord cows situation by later reports. The Contra Costa Times had reported ten cows having escaped from a trailer. But a different report specified “about 50 cows that mysteriously wandered onto the highway tonight.” Were these the same “escaped trailer cows”, or were they different cows? And were the “50 wandering cows” a separate, distinct incident from the “escaped trailer cows”? [3]

Twelve-year veteran CHP officer Tom Stewart reportedly exclaimed, “I’ve never seen anything like this. This is crazy. I’m not joking, they’re [cows are] everywhere.” [3]

Another report on the California cows incident describes “‘dead cows’ and ‘angry cows’ all over the road,” and adds, “It remained unclear where the cows came from or how they got loose.” [4]

The various escaped cows occurrences coincided with the tail of the Earth’s magnetic field stretching out to the Moon, prior to the then-upcoming Full Moon of Monday, May 19, 2008. It was discovered the previous month “that the Moon is inside the magnetotail of the Earth about three days before a Full Moon and stays inside until about six days afterwards.” [5]

These “cows behaving badly” episodes from 2008 can also be seen against the background of bizarre “cattle mutilation” incidents. A report by George Knapp of KLAS-TV Las Vegas, published and updated at the same time as the 2008 cows on the loose, reported “10,000 cases” of cattle mutilation over “more than 30 years”, with answers “hard to come by.” The “latest incident was reported in Saskatchewan two days ago.” [6]

But something was not adding up in news reports about “cows on the loose” in California. Initially, in the flush of events, at least one report had “about 50 cows” wandering on the highway. Later, a “livestock trailer” version appeared. But please notice the confusion found in a concurrent report by Roman Gokhman of the Bay Area News Group. [7]

  1. The trailer is hauling 10 cows.
  2. Five of the cows were hit by cars or euthanized. This leaves 5 cows.
  3. One of the cows was later found seven miles away, walking in a “FasTrak” lane. That leaves 4 cows.
  4. Two cows were caught on Highway Four. That leaves 2 cows.
  5. Two cows were caught near Marsh Drive. Now we have ZERO cows.
  6. One cow was captured on Northbound I-680. Here we have NEGATIVE ONE cow(s)!
  7. The sheriff’s deputies “used a helicopter to round up the remaining cattle…” REMAINING CATTLE! Were they invisible cows!? Did the helicopter enter a “parallel universe”!?

The year was 2008. The month was May. The “big fuss” was about loose cows.

But the “big fuss” has long-since moved on to other things, leaving behind few (if any) definite answers.

(A version of the above first appeared at my old Conspiracy Nation web site on May 15 and May 16, 2008.)

——- Sources ——-
[1] “All Missing Cows Accounted For,” by Diana Moon. Washington County, MD, May 15, 2008
[2] “Cows stampede on freeway near Concord; at least two dead,” by Roman Gokhman. Contra Costa Times, May 15, 2008.
[3] “The mystery of the 50 cows on Highway 4,” by Suzanne Espinosa Solis. SF Chronicle, May 16, 2008
[4] “Highway 4 Closed As Cows Run Amuck”, AP, May 16, 2008
[5] “Wolves howl at Full Moon: Guess what happens On The Moon?”, April 17, 2008. http://www.itwire.com/science-news/space/17715-wolves-howl-at-full-moon-guess-what-happens-on-the-moon
[6] “I-Team: The Killing Fields, Part 1”, by George Knapp. KLAS-TV Las Vegas, May 15, 2008 (updated May 16, 2008). http://www.8newsnow.com/Global/story.asp?S=8333337&nav=menu102_2
[7] “Five calves dead after herd runs into traffic on Highway 4 at Interstate 680”, by Roman Gokhman. Bay Area News Group, May 16, 2008. http://www.mercurynews.com/columns/ci_9281456

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About ersjdamoo

Editor of Conspiracy Nation, later renamed Melchizedek Communique. Close associate of the late Sherman H. Skolnick. Jack of all trades, master of none. Sagittarius, with Sagittarius rising. I'm not a bum, I'm a philosopher.
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