Return Of Earp

LEGO Wyatt Earp: Tombstone – Showdown at the OK Corral

The Resurrection Project had been bringing back the ancestors. Adam and Eve had been interviewed live by Larry King on Russia Today. Some of the resurrected ancestors were being given Social Security benefits, for example Wyatt Earp, alive and age 166 (born March 19, 1848). (Background: Resurrection of the Dead, Ersjdamoo’s Blog, December 31, 2014.)

Somehow Earp had gotten wind of Ersjdamoo’s Blog and how I had been belittling him. (Background: Star Trek at the O.K. Corral, Ersjdamoo’s Blog, December 23, 2014.)

There was a knock at my door. I looked through the peephole. It was Earp!

“Open the door, you low-down varmint,” said Earp. “I know you’re in there.”

At his side Earp carried his Buntline Special, a long-barreled revolver. In his eyes was a cold look. I decided right then that the Resurrection Project was not such a good idea.

“Nobody’s home,” I said from behind the closed door. Earp started to leave, then thought a moment and pounded again on my door. “If nobody’s home, then who am I talking to?” he demanded to know.

Darn! I had almost fooled Earp but he had seen through the subterfuge. I tried something else: “Earp!” I snarled. “Meet me at high noon at the O.K. Corral.”

“I’ll be waiting,” said Earp, and he strode away.

I laughed quietly. By the time Earp got to Tombstone and the O.K. Corral, many hours would pass. That gave me some time. But I had to figure out something fast. It occurred to me that maybe Sheriff Johnny Behan had been resurrected. I had learned that Behan, affianced to Josephine Marcus, had introduced her to Earp, and that Earp had stolen her away from Behan. That meant Behan, if he had been resurrected, would have a grudge against Earp. Maybe Behan could help me!

I telephoned the Resurrection Project headquarters. “Do you have a listing for Sheriff Johnny Behan?” I asked the receptionist. “Please hold, while I check the files,” she replied. When she put me on hold, instead of muzak, little factoids about the Resurrection Project played in the background.

“The great Russian Cosmists are the founding fathers of the Resurrection Project,” said the recorded message. “We take an active, rather than passive, role in human evolution. This includes the creation of new life forms, including a new level of humanity; the unlimited extension of human longevity to a state of practical immortality; the physical resurrection of the dead; serious scientific research into matters long considered subjects fit only for science fiction, occult, and esoteric literature; the exploration and colonization of the entire cosmos; and the emergence on our biosphere of a new sphere of human thought called the ‘noosphere’; and other far-reaching projects. If you would like to receive our free pamphlet, What To Say To Your Resurrected Relatives, send a self-addressed stamped envelope to Resurrection Project headquarters…”

The receptionist came back on the line. “Sir, I have a listing for a John Harris Behan, born October 24, 1844; resurrected October 31, 2014.” She gave me an address and a telephone number. I thanked her and hung up the phone.

The clock was ticking! I didn’t have much time until high noon and the O.K. Corral! I was going to have to find out more about Johnny Behan – and fast!

(Acknowledgements to (1) I Married Wyatt Earp, edited by Glenn G. Boyer. Tucson: University of Arizona Press, 1976; (2) The Russian Cosmists: The Esoteric Futurism of Nikolai Fedorov and His Followers, by George M. Young. Kindle e-book edition.)

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About ersjdamoo

Editor of Conspiracy Nation, later renamed Melchizedek Communique. Close associate of the late Sherman H. Skolnick. Jack of all trades, master of none. Sagittarius, with Sagittarius rising. I'm not a bum, I'm a philosopher.
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