Godzilla Attacks Illinois

Godzilla 1954 Trailer

Don Rahm, the Rahmfather, wants the last donut in Chicago for his yuppie pals and big-time financiers. Jesus “Chuy” Garcia wants the donut for his buddies, the Chicago Teachers Union and the Service Employees International Union. Rahm and Chuy are like children fighting over a donut while meanwhile Godzilla rampages through Illinois. (Background: Fine City Up For Grabs, Ersjdamoo’s Blog, March 31, 2015.)

Both Rahm Emanuel (Don Rahm) and “Chuy” Garcia face off on April 7th in a contest for Chicago Mayor. Hardly anyone has noticed that the imminent Chicago mayoral election is at least sociologically interesting. One exception has been the populist commentator Jim Hightower. He sees “a promising new movement of broad-shouldered populist change for all of America arising today from the heart of Chicago’s workaday people.” [1] Sorry to rain on Hightower’s parade, but it is just a children’s fight over the last donut, a contest between municipal unions (Garcia) and a downtown bloc of yuppies (Emanuel).

“Bankrupt government” headlines yesterday’s editorial in the Champaign-Urbana News-Gazette. They do not mention Godzilla but the creature’s trail is evident throughout. In 102 Illinois counties, local governments are keeling over. These various towns want to file for bankruptcy like Detroit did, but so far that is not allowed by Illinois law. [2]

There is some possibility that new legislation in Illinois will allow municipal bankruptcies, however the Illinois Constitution seems to forbid the entire state from declaring same. The state is loaded down with unfunded pension obligations and around 25 percent of each year’s taxes must go to pay retirement money. It is an “Illinois Pi law”, reminiscent of Indiana’s 1897 attempted definition of the mathematical Pi as 3.2. Illinois’ Pi law defines all pensions must be paid even though there’s no money. (Background: Stock Market Is Rigged, Ersjdamoo’s Blog, March 27, 2015.)

Austerity measures (Godzilla) are coming to Illinois, yet Pollyanna analysis reigns among economists. (“Pollyanna” means “Glad Books”, based upon syrupy stories written by Eleanor H. Porter. [3]) One such syrupy economical story keeps coming lately via the University of Illinois Institute of Government Affairs. It is called “The UI Flash Index” but it ought to be re-named “The Pollyanna Index.” Amazing figures which defy the definition of Pi, the irrational ratio between the circumference and diameter of a circle, keep appearing lately from Flash Index, which has been saying “expanding economy” in Illinois. [4]

The truth about these various rosy Flash-Index type reports is they are based upon statistics, and statistics, writes author Morris Kline, contain “pitfalls.” One of the first difficulties is to decide the meaning of the concepts involved. For example, what exactly does “unemployment” mean? “Who are the unemployed? Should the term include those people who do not have to work, but would like to? Or people who are employed two days a week and are looking for full-time employment? Or the well-trained engineer who cannot find a job corresponding to his qualifications and has to drive a cab?” [5]

Morris Kline wrote his book, Mathematics for the Nonmathematician, circa 1967. Back then, the notion of a “zero-hour contract” had yet to be invented. In Britain now there is some talk about “zero-hour contract” but we are in the dark about it in the United States. The “zero-hour contract” is a type of contract where the employer purports to have the discretion to vary the employee’s working hours, usually anywhere from full-time to “zero hours” [6]. In the U.S. you might see this, for example, at grocery stores where the faces of the employees keep changing. The scheme is like this: Suppose you have just 1 job but have 10 unemployed persons. How do you fix this unemployment problem? The answer is to put the 10 unemployed persons on a merry-go-round, where the 1 job carries all 10 of them onstage and offstage. In this way, your statistics will say that all 10 of these people now have jobs!

So the Pollyanna Index and other statistical virtual realities can tell you up is down and that Pi equals 3.2. But meanwhile, the trail of Godzilla in Illinois has been spotted by alert editors at the Champaign-Urbana News-Gazette. For now things are in a virtual reality state of hunky-dory in Illinois. After the Chicago election though, increased sightings of Godzilla shall occur.

——- Sources ——-
[1] “An exciting democracy movement arises in Chicago”, by Jim Hightower. March 27, 2015. http://jimhightower.com/node/8582#.VR0BXstVKlM
[2] “Bankrupt government”, editorial. Champaign-Urbana News-Gazette, April 2, 2015. Page A-6.
[3] “Pollyanna”, Wikipedia, April 3, 2015.
[4] “UI index surges to rare peak”, by Don Dodson. Champaign-Urbana News-Gazette, April 2, 2015. Page B-8.
[5] Mathematics for the Nonmathematician, by Morris Kline. Mineola, NY: Dover Publications, 1985. (Originally published 1967.)
[6] “Zero-hour contract”, Wikipedia, April 3, 2015.

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About ersjdamoo

Editor of Conspiracy Nation, later renamed Melchizedek Communique. Close associate of the late Sherman H. Skolnick. Jack of all trades, master of none. Sagittarius, with Sagittarius rising. I'm not a bum, I'm a philosopher.
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