The Memories Pizza Incident

Hitler Finds Out Memories Pizza Isn’t Ruined

Last week, March 30 – April 3, 2015, saw a paroxysm of fury erupting across the United States regarding a mom-and-pop pizza restaurant in small-town Walkerton, Indiana (population 2,144). Two sides quickly formed on the battle-lines of the Memories Pizza Incident.

Now, at the start of a new week, the subject is still an emotional mine field. Trying to be neutral, Reason magazine, at its online site reason.com, nonetheless concludes that Memories Pizza was a victim of irresponsible journalism. [1]

But what are the “conspiracy theories” regarding the Memories Pizza Incident? One such at the moment is part of a “Pizza Truth” movement. “Memories Pizza? OR THE ILLUMINATI?” headlines an article from the Washington Free Beacon. Did a local news reporter “just happen” to drive some 20 miles to find a pizza joint? The reporter, in this theoretical framework, following instructions from her hidden masters, then gave a misleading title to the report. It was all, however, a “con designed to rake in money,” theorizes one Sonny Bunch at the Washington Free Beacon. [2]

Ersjdamoo has his own preliminary theory on the Memories Pizza Incident. We have seen lately various staged dramas disguised as “news.” These staged dramas tend to happen in small towns, like Ferguson, Missouri and Walkerton, Indiana. Such small towns are perfect locales: “Middletown USA” for sociological experimentation. (Middletown studies were sociological case studies conducted in Muncie, Indiana during the 1920s and 1930s.) Eventually the sociologists will visit the small towns and record data from witnesses. That data will be tabulated into statistical frameworks, and conclusions will be made. From these sociological studies, knowledge will be acquired about how to “push the buttons” of Americans. (“Push the buttons” as in, “So and so really knows how to push my buttons,” i.e., knows how to set you off and manipulate you.)

One of the mechanics of this sociological technique is suggested by controversial radio host Rush Limbaugh. Limbaugh claims to have found proof that a small group of 10 to 15 people have toyed with algorithms and created a computer program which simulates that they, the 10 to 15 people, are thousands of irate individuals. This small group, says Limbaugh, are “able to create tweets, Facebook posts, e-mails to make it look like thousands of Americans are outraged at this harmless, barely even noticeable little pizza shop in a town of 2,000.” [3]

Offered for your consideration: That a hidden group of sociologists are conducting secret studies upon how to trigger emotional reactions of Americans. In phase one, they enter a small town and stage an artificial event disguised as “news.” In phase two, via computer simulation, they flood Twitter and such places with irate, one-sided reactions which appear to be emanating from thousands of individuals. In phase three, baited by the lopsided Twitter et al. reactions, other Americans tend to respond by taking a directly opposite stance. Result of the experiment: further knowledge is acquired on how to “push the buttons” of Americans and generate passionate response.

“Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage.” (Smashing Pumpkins)

One use to which such newly acquired button-pushing skills might be put is to artificially generate passion for the 2016 presidential circus. Given that in 2016 Americans are handed the “choice” of pre-anointed candidates (in alphabetical order) Jeb Bush and Hillary Clinton, Americans might lack interest and not vote. That is a problem for the Establishment for, unless they get at least a 50 percent voter turnout, it cannot be claimed that “the people have spoken.” But by 2016, thanks to covert sociological experiments, methods to “push the buttons” of Americans will be finely honed. An artificial incident can be utilized whereby once more Americans become suddenly aroused and polarized between two sides of some issue. And that passion, in turn, will help propel people into the voting booth: they will be “taking a stand” on some relatively inconsequential matter. The secret sociologists will exchange “high fives” and mutually congratulate each other: election turnout exceeds 50 percent and “the people have spoken.” The illusion of any real choice between candidates will have  been legitimized.

——- Sources ——-
[1] “Was Memories Pizza a Victim of Irresponsible Journalism? Yes.”, by Robby Soave. Reason magazine (online), April 2, 2015. http://reason.com/blog/2015/04/02/was-memories-pizza-a-victim-of-irrespons
[2] “Memories Pizza? OR THE ILLUMINATI?”, by Sonny Bunch. Washington Free Beacon, April 3, 2015. http://freebeacon.com/blog/memories-pizza-or-the-illuminati/
[3] “Such Great News Out of Indiana”, official transcript of Rush Limbaugh radio broadcast, April 3, 2015. http://www.rushlimbaugh.com/daily/2015/04/03/such_great_news_out_of_indiana

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About ersjdamoo

Editor of Conspiracy Nation, later renamed Melchizedek Communique. Close associate of the late Sherman H. Skolnick. Jack of all trades, master of none. Sagittarius, with Sagittarius rising. I'm not a bum, I'm a philosopher.
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