Erectile Dysfunction on Wall Street

It is a Tower of Babel, it is a lingam (an artificial phallus, image hopefully above), it is the stock market average.

The Dow-Jones Industrial Average (alias, the Dow) had slowly become tumescent after the crash of 2008-2009. The Tao of Dow had a hard-on for Ben Bernanke, a prick teaser who flew over Wall Street in a helicopter and seduced the babe with buckets of cash.

But then the lothario Bernanke was yanked out of the helicopter and a seemingly puritanical dame, Janet Yellen, was having none of this hanky panky. Or so it was thought. She snipped the source of the erection when she cut off the “Quantitative Easing”, a massage parlor front which had willing ladies in the back room.

Scowling severely at the loose wanton Wall Street, Yellen began to make hints of a convent of higher interest rates. “Those nuns will teach you the ways of righteousness,” she threatened.

But was it all a charade? Sure, Yellen had stopped the Quantitative Easing satyromania of Don Juan Bernanke. But would she go so far as to send the wayward child Wall Street to the convent of higher interest rates? That remained to be seen.

So will the stock market be getting a hard-on today? U.S. equity-index futures have begun to stir with desire. Futures on the Dow Jones Industrial Average added 1.4 percent, while those on the Nasdaq 100 Index climbed 1 percent. The S&P 500 is also becoming aroused. [1]

But a cold shower has been poured on the trembling tumescence by a Buddhist party pooper. China stocks slumped more than 7 percent on Tuesday to their lowest level since December, with panic selling intensifying after the flagship Shanghai Composite Index crashed through a key support level. [2]

In these times of erectile dysfunction, a doctor has been called in to assist. “It sure looks like the U.S. plunge protection team is out in full force this morning,” wrote Jay Somaney, contributor to Forbes magazine, after Wall Street got a limp dick yesterday. [3] The champ seemed to have lost all interest and the Dow went flaccid to the tune of minus 1,089 points.

The World Socialist Web Site agreed in substance with the Somaney diagnosis: “There can be little doubt that the Federal Reserve Board and related government agencies intervened behind the scenes to organize the massive buying spree that halted the opening market plunge,” reported Barry Grey this morning. “Reports emerged later that the New York Stock Exchange had invoked an obscure and rarely used rule to preempt panic selling. Rule 48 speeds up the opening of trading by suspending a requirement that stock prices be announced at the beginning of the session. This may have been used to facilitate an intervention by the Fed.” [4]

Some may be shocked that Ersjdamoo would consider the viewpoint of a Socialist web site. Yet what is Plunge Protection Team (PPT) itself if not Socialist? A free market would not have government agencies and the so-called “Federal Reserve” intervening to prop up erectile dysfunction on Wall Street.

The erectile dysfunction specialist, Dr. PPT, was called in for consultation after the great big dick of Wall Street went limp. However credentials for this Dr. PPT are questionable in themselves. What is this “Plunge Protection Team?”, people asked. “What do we know about him?”

The Dr. PPT is somewhat young for a physician. It was born on March 18, 1988, when then-President Ronald Reagan signed Executive Order 12631. Baptized as the Working Group on Financial Markets, it acquired the nickname “Plunge Protection Team” after The Washington Post used that term for it on February 23, 1997. Dr. PPT is alleged by some to be in fact a back-alley physician. Many openly suspected that after the 2008 financial crisis the “Federal Reserve” or U.S. government was supporting the stock market. One of these persons, Charles Biderman, head of TrimTabs Investment Research, stated that “If the money to boost stock prices did not come from the traditional players, it had to have come from somewhere else.” [5]

Others expressing belief or suspicion of PPT include financial writers for British newspapers The Observer and The Daily Telegraph, along with U.S. Congressman Ron Paul, writers Kevin Phillips and John Crudele. [5]

The lingam is a representation of the Hindu deity Shiva. [6] Shiva is “the destroyer”, part of the Hindu trinity. [7] We all know what happened to the Tower of Babel, essentially another lingam. Babel is the Hebrew word for Babylon. Like the astronomical height of the Dow, Babylon’s central temple tower was said to reach the heavens. [8]

Descendants of Noah wandered to the plain of Shinar (Babylonia). The most famous ziggurat of antiquity was Etemenanki (rhymes with Bernanke). Etemenanki (“house that is the foundation of heaven and earth”) belonged to the temple complex of Marduk at Babylon. “It is likely that the fabled tower of Babel of Genesis 11 is a reminiscence of this ziggurat, retrojected to the dawn of human history.” [9]

Marduk was the patron deity of the city of Babylon. Marduk is the Babylonian form of Hammurabi. He forged an empire and is memorialized in the Enûma Elish, which tells the story of Marduk’s birth, heroic deeds and becoming the ruler of the gods. A civil war between the gods was growing to a climactic battle. The Anunnaki gods gathered together to find one god who could defeat the gods rising against them. Marduk, a very young god, answered the call and was promised the position of head god. [10]

The Anunnaki, according to the late Zecharia Sitchin and others, were aliens from the planet Nibiru. That planet passes by the earth every 3,500 years or so, at which time the Anunnaki planet-hop to the earth and create mischief. [11]

“The Anunnaki may be returning to Earth according to one recent interview from a man with insider Pentagon sources. According to Stan Deyo, the buzzword around the Pentagon is that the Sumerian Gods are returning back to Earth.” [12]

Will the planet-hopping Anunnaki be creating mischief, as is their wont, with the Wall Street Tower of Babel? Or will the Plunge Protection Team thwart their evil plans? Or is the Plunge Protection Team actually Marduk in disguise, and ought to be called the Plunge Perfection Team? The anxious eyes of the world are glued to ongoing events, on Wall Street and elsewhere.

——- Sources ——-
[1] “S&P 500 Futures Rise After Steepest Two-Day Slump Since 2008”, by Adam Haigh and Nao Sano. Bloomberg, updated August 25, 2015 1:31 AM CDT.
[2] “China stocks sink over seven percent as panic selling intensifies”, by Samuel Shen and Pete Sweeney. Reuters, Aug 25, 2015 3:15am EDT.
[3] “U.S. Plunge Protection Team Out In Force This Morning”, by Jay Somaney. Forbes (online), August 24, 2015 @ 9:56 AM.
[4] “As global selloff deepens, US stock market teeters on edge of collapse”, by Barry Grey. World Socialist Web Site, August 25, 2015. http://www.wsws.org/en/articles/2015/08/25/econ-a25.html
[5] “Working Group on Financial Markets”, Wikipedia, August 25, 2015. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Working_Group_on_Financial_Markets
[6] “Lingam”, Wikipedia, August 25, 2015.
[7] “Shiva”, Wikipedia, August 25, 2015.
[8] “Babel, Tower of.” The Oxford Companion to the Bible, edited by Bruce M. Metzger and Michael D. Coogan. Oxford University Press, 1993.
[9] “Ziggurat.” Ibid.
[10] “Marduk”, Wikipedia, August 25, 2015.
[11] “Who are the Anunnaki?”, by D.M. Murdock/Acharya S. Truth Be Known web site. http://www.truthbeknown.com/anunnaki.htm
[12] “Pentagon Secret – The Anunnaki Are Returning”, Before It’s News,  January 25, 2015. http://beforeitsnews.com/beyond-science/2015/01/pentagon-secret-the-anunnaki-are-returning-2448470.html

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About ersjdamoo

Editor of Conspiracy Nation, later renamed Melchizedek Communique. Close associate of the late Sherman H. Skolnick. Jack of all trades, master of none. Sagittarius, with Sagittarius rising. I'm not a bum, I'm a philosopher.
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