Encore Sarducci Vatican Analysis

The Godfather Part III Alternate Opening

Do we laugh at the fool, or does the fool laugh at us? Who is the real comedian, Father Guido Sarducci (Don Novello) or recent popes? (Background: Vatican Analysis From Father Guido Sarducci, Ersjdamoo’s Blog, September 20, 2015.)

Around March 18, 2013, Father Guido Sarducci was the guest on a Los Angeles radio station. He offered his insights into the newly elected Pope Francis, the newly retired Pope Benedict XVI, and on the Vatican in general. [1]

The Pope Francis election was over quick. “It was all set up,” said Father Guido Sarducci. “They put up that smoke, and it’s all a smoke screen.” (Different colored smoke tells the crowd outside the conclave whether a new pope has been chosen or not.)

“In this day and age,” continued Father Guido, “they pollute the sky to announce they have a new pope. White smoke, grey smoke… At least they could have gone neon! You know, motels, they have a sign that says ‘vacancy’ or ‘no vacancy.’ Every time that they don’t have a vacancy, they don’t start a fire!”

Why did Pope Benedict XVI resign? “They needed somebody who would continue the cover-up, all this banking stuff and that. And they can only have so many of those Cardinals from Rome, so if this guy [Benedict] continued for a couple more years, they wouldn’t get the votes to put in one of their own. Also, they didn’t like his cats. He has seven cats, and it smells. It just smells, you know?”

About Pope Benedict’s cats, Father Guido provided these details: “He has these seven cats. Their names are like the seven dwarfs. He’s ‘Snow White’, and he has these seven dwarf cats. His cat had kittens, and he named them for the seven dwarfs… you know, ‘Happy’, ‘Stinky’…”

One of the cats, “Bashful”, had 16 kittens so Bashful XVI is one of the cats. “Now they call him Bashful XVI Emeritus, I guess,” speculated Father Guido. (The retired Pope Benedict XVI is known as “Pope Emeritus”, like retired professors are known as “Professor Emeritus.”)

The Roman Curia is the administrative apparatus of the Vatican. It is a powerful central committee which influences how the affairs of the Catholic church are conducted. [2] Pope Francis, Argentinian, but also Italian, belonged to this central committee, said Father Guido. “He’s Italian-Argentinian, but he’s in the in-group. He’s part of the Curia. They’re trying to say he took the name Francis for ‘Francis of Assisi’, but he really took it I think for this ‘Francis Xavier’, who was a Jesuit who went to try and make the Japanese Catholics. Some say he changed his middle name to Albert, for Francis Albert Sinatra. Some say he took ‘Francis’ for Connie Francis, I don’t know.”

How can Pope Benedict XVI have been “infallible”, Father Guido was asked. If he resigns, does that mean he’s no longer “infallible”? But how can you be “infallible” then “not infallible”? “It’s nonsense, papal infallibility,” replied the good Father. “The last time it happened was, Pius XII, in like 1950, made this new rule that, from then on, you had to believe that Jesus’ mother, the blessed virgin mother – the BVM, we call it – that her body went up there too, like His, you know? Her whole body. So Jesus and her have their bodies… It’s kind of creepy to me. Two of them ‘up there’.”

In this, Father Guido is referring to what is called, “The Assumption.” According to this belief, the body of Mary was taken up into the sky, like an abductee being beamed up into the alien mother ship. (But is heaven up in the sky somewhere? “Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for behold, the kingdom of God is within you.” – Luke 17: 21)

About Pope Francis, Father Guido amazingly says Francis is a right-winger. “But this guy [Pope Francis], he’s a real right-winger. He’s a Jesuit, you think they’re more liberal, but they’re not. [Pope] John Paul, when there was this bishop, Ramirez I think it was, in El Salvador. This guy was killed on the altar, when he was saying mass. And the pope was in South America and he didn’t even bother going to the funeral, because he thought Ramirez was a left-winger. And this guy, the new Francis, he was named [as Cardinal] by Pope John Paul, so he’s the same. He’s one of them.”

In an earlier papal selection, Cardinal Bergoglio had been the runner-up. “I think [Cardinal Roger] Mahony came in third, too,” pondered Father Guido. “What if Mahony became pope? Same deal. [Pope Francis] is not as bad as Mahony, but just the same he’s not gonna change much, I don’t think… It’s amazing that they let this guy [Mahony] vote [for pope], after every thing we know about him… It’s not going to happen from the top. The only way the church is going to change is from the bottom.”

——- Sources ——-
[1] “Listen: Father Guido Sarducci on the Election of Pope Francis”, TruthDig, March 18, 2013. http://www.truthdig.com/avbooth/item/listen_father_guido_sarducci_on_the_election_of_pope_francis_20130318
[2] “Roman Curia”, Wikipedia, September 21, 2015.

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About ersjdamoo

Editor of Conspiracy Nation, later renamed Melchizedek Communique. Close associate of the late Sherman H. Skolnick. Jack of all trades, master of none. Sagittarius, with Sagittarius rising. I'm not a bum, I'm a philosopher.
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