Popcorn News

Popcorn News

The “popcorn news” phenomena was first noted by Ersjdamoo in the October 16, 2015 blog entry. One month before that, the Elan “Togetherness Moment” had “erupted like a popcorn kernel into our lives… Then the ‘popcorn news’ went on to something else.” [1]

Like fireflies drifting across the background of the night, seemingly disconnected “news” items erupt. These exploding popcorn kernels of “news” appear to be random. If you seek any underlying pattern which might explain the apparent randomness, Professor Puffdaddy and his psychobabble will be mobilized. “The ‘conspiracy theorist’ needs to see order in what are really random, chaotic events,” the Puffdaddy will intone. Elsewhere, in the conspiracy discussion forums, teams of trolls will act like a “tag team” and gang up on you: their one-word vocabulary: variations of the word “kook”.

“Why not play along with Professor Puffdaddy?” came the thought. “Why not ridicule by satire his idea of random, chaotic events?” And so Ersjdamoo made a short video, “Popcorn News”, hopefully viewable at the top of today’s blog entry.

“Do not try to comprehend it all, just eat the popcorn,” I advise in the video. Popcorn news items therein include: People walking around in Iran; Slingshot practice in Bethlehem; and a fence kicking contest in Brazil.

This morning, more popcorn news items have been found. Do not try to comprehend it all, just eat the popcorn.

POPPING: A random kernel has popped in Switzerland. There the “rightist” Swiss People’s Party has triumphed in elections. The Swiss People’s Party maintains a “vigorous stance against immigration.” [2]

POPPING: A different random kernel has popped in Britain. There, Researchers from the University of York have used magnetic energy to “dramatically change people’s attitudes to immigration.” Magnetic force was used “to safely shut down” the posterior medial frontal cortex. [3]

POPPING: Israel and the United States have “signaled” that they are letting bygones be bygones about earlier friction over the Iran nuclear deal. Coincidentally, entirely random, and merely a separate chaotic circumstance in the Professor Puffdaddy world, a 10-year military aid package, worth $30 billion overall, is being negotiated. [4]

POPPING: Another kernel has randomly popped, this time in Nigeria. There, two female suicide bombers seemed to have been fleeing a “Boko Haram” attack when, out of the blue, they blew themselves up and killed “at least 11 people.” [5] Boko Haram announced its allegiance to the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL) in March 2015. [6]

POPPING: In Srinagar, India, or thereabouts, it began to be rumored that Zahid, a “conductor” of a truck, had killed a cow. This allegation infuriated many of the Indians, for a cow, they believe, might be a reincarnation of a departed relative. And so it was that conductor Zahid was injured in a “petrol bomb” attack. Now, the police in areas of Kashmir have imposed “curfew-like restrictions.” [7]

POPPING: The United States is “a bomb waiting to explode”, opines one Sam Gerrans, founder of Quranite.com – “where the Qur’an [Koran] is explored on the basis of reason rather than tradition”. Possible “detonators”, Gerrans theorizes, are food supply logistics, exodus from the fiat dollar, forced or sudden withdrawal from selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (narcotics increasingly prescribed), and “morals in decline”, for example as seen in the mad rush of the “Black Friday” Christmas season sales. [8] Of course, this “bomb waiting to explode” would be just something random, were it to occur, and having absolutely no connection with murdered cows, magnetic energy mind control, female suicide bombers, friction over the Iran nuclear deal, or immigration.

——- Sources ——-
[1] “Trouble in Land of the Lesbians”, Ersjdamoo’s Blog, October 16, 2015. https://ersjdamoo.wordpress.com/2015/10/16/trouble-in-land-of-the-lesbians/
[2] “Anti-Immigration Party Triumphs in Swiss Parliamentary Elections”, by Time Staff. Time magazine (online), October 19, 2015.
[3] “Mind hack: Scientists use magnets to change attitudes on immigration, religion”, Russia Today, October 16, 2015. http://on.rt.com/6u1t
[4] “Israel, U.S. signal security ties back on track after Iran feud”, by Phil Stewart and Dan Williams. Reuters, Oct 18, 2015 8:17pm EDT.
[5] “Female suicide bombers kill 11 in NE Nigeria: police”, Agence France Presse (AFP), October 19, 2015.
[6] “Boko Haram”, Wikipedia, October 19, 2015.
[7] “Curfew-like restrictions in J&K after man killed over cow-slaughter rumours”, Times of India (online), Oct 19, 2015, 11.24 AM IST
[8] “‘America is a bomb waiting to explode'”, by Sam Gerrans. Russia Today, October 18, 2015. http://on.rt.com/6u4q


About ersjdamoo

Editor of Conspiracy Nation, later renamed Melchizedek Communique. Close associate of the late Sherman H. Skolnick. Jack of all trades, master of none. Sagittarius, with Sagittarius rising. I'm not a bum, I'm a philosopher.
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